So.. I've been seeing a guy for a couple weeks n I really.. really like him. I mean obviously I'm not gunna sit here and say I love the kid cuz I don't kno a whole lot about him.. all I kno is that he's an awesome guy.. sooooo nice, a sweetheart, and even tho sometimes he likes to joke around n make fun of me.. he always makes everythin soo much better by stating his lil line "Jus trickin" haha and I love it n he makes me fall for it every time..cuz he's so cute when he says it.. haha oh yeah n not to mention he's the most gorgeous guy I've ever really liked. Basically.. to me.. he spells out "perfect." Honestly, I don't think I've ever had a better guy in my life, and I would completely fall apart if I lost him right now. I mentioned the last part.. about falling apart if I lost him.. because well, I jus about did. Thursday I COMPLETELY fucked up, drank way too much and messed around with one of my GREAT friends ex's. I kno, I shouldnt use drinking as an excuse.. n I'm not gunna.. but I'm jus makin it clear that I wasnt all there. Anyways..I lost one of my girls n it hurts like a whole lot n as if that wasnt enough.. I nearly lost the best guy in the world. I hate myself for it, but even tho all that happened, I'm happy to say that.. right now I'm the happiest I've been in a long time with my life. I mean.. don't get me wrong.. I love Amanda.. but to be honest.. she did only come to me when her and Jessica's friendship went to shit and now if you look at it, since our friendship has gone bad.. she all of a sudden loves jess again? seems kinda weird.. guess if she ever really wanted to be my "girl" n considered me as her "lil sis" then she'll forgive me and reconsider everything she's said and done for the past 4 days? who knos.. no matter what.. I love her n definitely miss her.. as for chad.. I'm so thankful that he's willing to give me another chance.. n I will prove to him he can trust me